There’s little doubt that football - not baseball - is America’s favorite sport. In Texas, football even outranks agriculture when it comes to gross revenues in any given year! It’s no wonder then that jokes about our football passion find their way to print every year. Here’s a few funny quotes and jokes that will bring a smile to the face of every dedictaed football fan: FOOTBALL QUOTES: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theismann in 2002. (It turns out that Joe Theismann went to high school with a Norman Einstein, who was the class valedictorian.) "Half this game is ninety percent mental" - Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies "It is beyond my apprehension." - Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies when asked by reporter what he thought of his team during a losing streak. "The people don't take baths and they don't speak English. No golf courses, no room service. Who needs it?"  - - Chicago Bears quarterback Jim McMahon, talking about Europe . "I'm in favor of it." - John McKay, coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1976, when asked about the execution of his team. "You guys line up alphabetically by height." - - Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach JOKES A young man was very excited because he just won a ticket to the Super Bowl. His excitement lessened as he realized his seat was in the back of the stadium. As he searched the rows ahead of him for a better seat, he found an empty one right next to the field. He approached the man sitting next to the empty seat and asked if it was taken. The man replied, "No." Amazed the young man asked, "How could someone pass up a seat like this?" The older gentleman responded, "That's my wife's seat. We've been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she has passed away." "Oh, how sad," the man said. "I'm sorry to hear that, but couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?" "No," the man said, "They're all at the funeral." *** One man to another, "My wife thinks I put football before marriage, even though we just celebrated our third season together." *** During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals. At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss. The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?" "I did," said the centipede. "Who stopped the rhino?" "Uh, that was me too," said the centipede. "And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?" "Well, that was me as well," said the centipede. "So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach. "Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."