By B. Bubba Bandera
Guest Columnist
  Gas pump prices got you down? You think $3.00 a gallon or more for unleaded fuel is just down right un-American? Feel like OPEC and the oil companies are raining on your parade? Feel like bologna between two slices of sour bread?
Well join the crowd neighbor.
You know, I believe Americans are fairly tolerant, and pretty darn friendly for the most part. They - I should say we - tend to be forgiving, especially when the chips are down, and pretty much take care of ourselves without a lot of help from the government.
That's the majority of us at least. There are some that need the government to fend for them - some rightfully so and some not. But the majority of us (the silent majority perhaps) suffer the burden of our own existence. We work. We pay taxes. We play occasionally. We pay taxes. We send our kids to school, attempt to save for retirement, invest in our IRAs, and pay more taxes. How American can you get?
We don't complain - besides a little moaning - when the price of eggs jump because the chickens have stopped laying. We tolerate it when the mechanic calls and says the part for the car is going to run a little over $700.00, or the water bill jumped because summer months have brought about greater usage. We know that the price for a pair of beach shorts at Wal-mart has risen from $12 last year to $12.99 this year; a 99-cent soda now costs $1.19.
 But Mr. President, Honorable Senators and Representatives, and Mr. Corporate America - in fact, the whole darn world - you need to take note and realize that all things have a limit. And if it were up to me, and I dare say most Americans, the buck needs to stop here. The limit has been reached. The cup is full and overflowing. We've taken all we can take. Enough is enough. Stop the bus I want to get off. The toilet is backing up. The fertilizer is about to hit the fan.
Let me explain. We didn't really buy the story after hurricane Katrina that there was an oil shortage. But we paid your elevated prices at the pump in spite of our grumbling. After prices dropped slightly and then went up around the holidays again, we tolerated the system and you're never-ending bid to squeeze more out of consumers so that corporate profits could soar by record numbers.
But this week I was watching CNN and an interview with a representative of the oil & gas industry and was told by him that the reason gas prices are going up is because of the need to change fuel mixtures to incorporate alternative, non-petroleum based fuels - as required by public demand - and by law.
Now just a minute. You mean we're growing corn to produce ethanol to help eliminate dependency on petroleum based fuels because of world shortages and spiraling costs, and you're telling us these new fuels are going to cost us more instead of less? You're feeding us stories about world oil shortages and OPEC windfalls, how the cost of drilling and exploration is out of control and shipping has become dangerous because of pirates.
 Want me to tell you where the pirates are? They're wearing suits and ties and laughing at their board meetings when profit & loss statements are circulated. They're joking about how many politicians they own and how strong and brave are their lobbyists. They're plotting their campaign contribution strategies this very minute based upon which elected official has taken the plunge and agreed to compromise his promise to his constituents in order to sign on to the side of legal extortion.
You can slap me Mr. President. Congress can bruise me. I will tolerate a lashing from corporate America and the free enterprise system, and I'll keep working and paying taxes and living life to support myself and family.
But I must warn you, if gas pump prices continue to rise in the weeks and months ahead, the injury goes beyond beatings and lashings and bruisings. At some point the crime becomes what amounts to a personal violation - yes, a form of capital gains rape.
And gentlemen, you are on the verge of a passive revolution.
Mind you, the walls of Jericho fell with nothing more than a collective voice.
If I wasn't so busy with raisin' cattle and paying taxes, I'd run for President. And with gas prices hovering around $4.00 a gallon, I'd be elected. Do you not understand that 4-5% inflation is tolerable? We suck it up because that's economics. We understand that a 5% annual unemployment rate is normal and expected. That the cost of living is rising at 3-7% a year. But we can manage that.
Yet you think, in like manner, we will roll over when gas pump prices rise nearly 100% in a two year period. I tell you boys, you're just plain crazy. You think we, the people, are so apathetic that we will simply bow our heads and continue to fill our RVs, SUVs, work trucks and family cars at $70-$200 a shot and will be content to let the same people run our country who have allowed us to be gouged like this at the pump?
  George W and Dick, you of all people should know never to tick off a grass root Texan. We tolerated it when you mismanaged the Rangers. We even looked the other way over all those savings and loan deals. And Dick, lord knows you never benefited from oil, gas or defense industry contracts did you? Look Dick, a lot of us "Texas Boys" benefited when profits went up and stock values climbed through the ceiling. But what good is it if we're spending the proceeds at the gas pump?
I don't want to be partisan here. You stout democratic leaders - you know who you are - you growl and moan about really important issues like drilling for oil in restricted areas and protecting the world from global warming. A bit altruistic don't you think when you're not doing a darn thing about the gas problem?
Fellows, it was issues like this that caused the tea to be spilled in Boston Harbor and forced a near-naked Santa Ana to turn over a quarter of Mexico's land mass to the new Republic before we allowed him to put his pants back on.
 Bubba is tired of fillin' up the old pickup and spendin' half a Franklin to do it. I'll gladly convert to ethanol - but I don't want it to cost $4.00 a gallon. Are you takin' notes here?
Boys, not only are the campaign contributions gonna stop, but this year on my taxes I didn't even check the "donate $3 to presidential election campaign fund" box. I'm putting you all on notice. You come up with a solution to this fuel price problem and you do it right now! No rhetoric, no bellyaching. This is what you got elected to do. Now do it. And stop asking America to sacrifice.
We sacrifice by sending our sons and daughtes to the Iraqi and Afghan deserts to be shot at by hooligans. My gosh fellows, thegenerally accepted rules of engagement in any war states that the winner of the conflict has the right to financial retribution by laying claim to the resources of the conquered land. Look it up in the Geneva convention and the United Nations by-laws.
Bubba says take the darn Iraqi oil - to the tune of a few billion dollars worth - at least to the point that we pay for the huge war debt we have accumulated as a result of having to go in there and "cleanse" a terrorist state of the criminals who have caused American blood to be spilled.
Stop worrying that the French or Russians or Chinese are going to claim that we forced the Iraq issue because of oil and gas issues. I don't care what the French think, the Russians have their own problems, and I'm not complaining yet that my clothes are made mostly in China. But I might have to reconsider that in the near future.
Gas prices have America in a corner. And you know what an eagle does when it's cornered? It takes your eyes out.
You make the analogy boys.
I'll just put it simple: I'm tired of spiraling fuel and medical costs. I am tired of pharmaceutical and insurance lobbies. And I'm gettin' tired of taxes - without representation. Keep it up boys, and there's going to be sweeping changes in Congress.
It may require a two-thirds voter majority to effect constitutional changes in America, but you've got a good 60% of the voters ticked off at you right now, and you're popularity is slipping. Change or we will force you to change.
I don't want to hear about your plans. I want to see some action. You can start by dropping gas prices to a comfortable $2.25 a gallon - and freeze it there until America says otherwise.
And while we're at it, medicine prices need to drop to Canadian levels. There needs to be a ceiling on medical procedure costs and hospital treatment, and stop jackin' with social security. I received my SS statement from you the other day in the mail telling me how much I'm going to make when I hit retirement. But at this rate the system will crash in a couple a years and I'm just going to be out of luck in the end because you fellers have jacked away the profits.
And by the way - stop selling Federal notes to Japan and China and other countries trying to get a hold on our economy and lifestyle. And while you're at it, pass some sweeping immigration reform laws that says to be in America for an extended stay means you must become an American - lock, stock and barrel. If you're not an American, you can't own an American business. If wanna-be Americans can't conform to our laws and rules, they need to leave. Stop giving American citizen-benefits to people that aren't Americans.
Am I getting through here? I tell ya fellows, me and Ross and some of the other boys have been talkin', and things have got to change right quick. Don't let it start with your career.
Nuff said!
B. Bubba Bandera
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Rio Grande Valley
